From Fear to Freedom - Overcoming Uncertainty
What is your biggest fear?
And what is that fear keeping you from? Fear makes us live small. It steals the energy we have for life and replaces it with constricting, anxiety-producing weight. What if you could shed that weight and start to see more of the light again?
Fear of the Unknown
Of all the fears people have, fear of the unknown is one of the most common and widely-spread. A quick story to illustrate:
"There once was this criminal who had committed a crime
(Because, hey, that’s what criminals do. That’s their job!)
Anyway, he was sent to the king for his punishment.
The king told him he had a choice of two punishments.
He could be hung by a rope.
Or take what’s behind the big, dark, scary, mysterious iron door.
The criminal quickly decided on the rope.
As the noose was being slipped on him, he turned to the king and asked:
“By the way, out of curiosity, what’s behind that door?”
The king laughed and said:
“You know, it’s funny, I offer everyone the same choice, and nearly everyone picks the rope.”
“So,” said the criminal, “Tell me. What’s behind the door? I mean, obviously, I won’t tell anyone,” he said, pointing to the noose around his neck.
The king paused then answered:
“Freedom, but it seems most people are so afraid of the unknown that they immediately take the rope.” ~ From the book How to Be HAPPY Dammit by Karen Salmansohn.
**Imagine that??**
So we choose the job that drains us because we aren't sure what else is out there.
Or we stay in the ok but unfulfilling relationship because it is better than being alone.
We say yes to things because we aren't sure what people will think if we say no.
We enroll our kids in everything because we don't know what the biggest contributor to their success will be. So we exhaust them and ourselves to do it all.
By allowing fear to keep us choosing the known, even when it is also the noose, we give up our freedom.
Our freedom to choose a life that truly fulfills us. To explore new opportunities knowing that nothing is forever. Even if the next decision doesn't work out, you can always make another choice.
But instead, we go through life avoiding certain things and doing other things to help relieve the fear. Unfortunately, it doesn't make us feel better. Sure, we may lessen the fear, but we also dampen our spirits. We feel the weight of our limiting beliefs and constricting, unfulfilling choices.
And in order to deal with the stress, anxiety and weight of our fear-induced actions (or inactions), we imprison ourselves even more with escapism tools such as scrolling social media, binging TV, drinking, gambling, shopping, etc. etc.
But what if we chose the unknown door?
I mean, what is the worst that could happen?
I know it isn't comfortable. I can vividly recall the fear I experienced when I left my well-known, established career as an accountant to pursue coaching.
Sure, accounting was stressful, demanded long hours, and wasn't fulfilling to me. But I knew the money it brought in, the career ladder it provided, and the network of people it provided to me. And let's be real, it wasn't like I was being physically tortured at work (although some days it mentally felt like it).
It was - ok. Until it wasn't. Until the weight of the noose was too much. And although it was super risky, I knew I needed to choose the door.
I did. And it has been the best choice for me! But let me be real about it. It was also, not smooth, not as lucrative, not stress-free, and not perfect.
But the truth was (and still is) that if it didn't work out, I could make another choice. I could go back to accounting. Or go back to school to become a psychologist. Or explore other opportunities. (I've since been certified as a coach, team coach, yoga instructor, and I will keep learning new skills because it energizes me!)
I realize not every choice leaves a door open to go back through. But most things in life can be reversed, corrected, or dealt with. Will it be a pain? Maybe.
But isn't it more painful to stay where you are, to stay in fear?
Think of your biggest fear and see it for the noose that it is. Recognize what it is keeping you from doing and/or forcing you to continue.
And then find the door. Find a way to choose it. It may not contain the perfect answer you are looking for.
But then again, it just might.
It isn't easy. Thinking about it will cause more anxiety.
You have to take advice from Nike and JUST DO IT.
Fear breeds and multiplies in your thoughts as you wait. It evaporates with action.
Because once you act, the result becomes KNOWN. It may not work out perfectly. But it is a step to either doing more of that, or learning from that decision to make a different, better next decision.
You are strong, amazing, brilliant, and resilient. You've done hard things that you were afraid of in the past and you are still here to talk about it.
You can do it again. You just have to CHOOSE and ACT.
Cheers to the choosing freedom over fear,
Sharon
It's Less Scary with Support
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