Getting Where You Want to Go
Getting Where You Want to Go
What if the biggest thing standing between you and where you want to go isn't your habits, your circumstances, or even your motivation? What if it's your identity? I've often heard that two of the most powerful words in the English language are "I am." Because whatever follows those words has a way of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Which means you have a lot of power to change your future and get to where you want to go!
You have the power....
I do believe the words "I am" are the most powerful words we can say.
Think about it. If you constantly tell yourself, "I am so busy," you keep yourself busy. After all, busy people don't have time to sit around and relax!
If you identify as someone who's important and needed, you might struggle to step away from work because what would it mean if everything continued just fine without you?
There are a million books, tools, and hacks out there to help us change our habits, and many of them are helpful. But if we're trying to change our behavior without examining the identity that's driving it, we're missing a HUGE piece of the puzzle.
We can put all sorts of systems in place to change what we do, but if deep down we believe "that's just not who I am," it's going to be an uphill battle.
Here's what I find so fascinating (and empowering) about identity: We get to decide who we are. And we get to change our minds.
Maybe you've spent your entire life saying, "I'm not political," but lately you've felt a desire to become more involved in your community, contribute to something meaningful, or have a voice in what's happening around you. Who says you can't?
Maybe you've spent decades identifying as an executive, a leader, or the person everyone depends on, and somewhere along the way that title started defining not just what you do, but who you are. What if you could also be someone who loves spending time in nature, enjoys long lunches with friends, or takes an afternoon off without feeling guilty?
Or, an example near and dear to my heart, maybe you've always said how much you love food and how hard it is to eat healthy. If you don't identify as the person who eats salad, then pizza it is! And then the loathing and self-hatred grows as you watch the scale go up.
We have so much more power to shape our lives than we often give ourselves credit for. Yet we spend an incredible amount of energy explaining why we can't do something, why we're too busy, why it's too late, or why "that's just the way I am."
But even telling ourselves all the reasons we can't change is a habit - a habit I highly recommend changing!
When I think about some of the most successful AND fulfilled people I know, two things stand out:
First, they're willing to let their identity evolve. They recognize that who they were 10 years ago doesn't have to be who they are today, and who they are today doesn't have to define who they'll become tomorrow.
Second, they allow themselves to hold multiple identities at once. You can be an ambitious, successful executive AND a warm, caring friend. You can love working hard AND love doing absolutely nothing. You can enjoy a fancy dinner out AND a muddy hike through the woods.
None of these things contradict one another unless you've decided they do. The beauty is that you don't have to give up one part of yourself to embrace another.
And a quick distinction I want to highlight - there is a difference between changing your identity and expanding your identity. You might not need a total overhaul. You don't necessarily need to stop being the hardworking, dependable, ambitious person you've always been. You can simply give yourself permission to be MORE than that.
So, as you think about where you want to go, I encourage you to shift the question. Instead of starting with "What do I need to DO differently?" start with "Who do I want to BECOME?"
Because when you get clear on who you want to be, the actions you need to take start to look a little different. You're no longer just trying to squeeze another habit into your already busy life.
You're making choices that align with the person you're becoming.
Pay attention to what comes after your "I am" statements this week. Are those identities helping you create the life you want, or keeping you stuck in one you've outgrown?
Remember, YOU get to decide who you are, who you're becoming, and what that looks like in your life. And you don't need anyone's permission to begin.
Cheers to choosing your identity,
Sharon
Building Your TRUE Identity
I help women define what they really want in life, so they can let go of their stressors and feel more joy. It takes support and focus to untangle all of our identities and get clear about what we want going forward. Which is exactly why I offer a free, confidential strategy call you can schedule by CLICKING HERE.
My most in-demand offerings are as follows:
Life Vision Intensive - A 2-hour discovery session to define what a successful and fulfilling life means for YOU. Includes your Life Vision document, a core values exercise, and a 1-hour finalization call. Investment = $399
Coaching Package - Almost a full year of support! Twelve 1-hour sessions approx. every 3 weeks to provide the encouragement, accountability and support to help you define AND reach your goals with more joy and less stress. Includes the Life Vision session for free! Investment = $3,300
Life is too short to spend it feeling stressed, overwhelmed and unsatisfied. I've helped so many improve their happiness, well-being, and success because they chose to schedule a call and take one step towards the life of their dreams. I can help you too.
