Progress Wins. Perfection Stalls.
Habit #7: The Perfection Trap
Welcome to Week 7's deep dive in our 12-part series for women ready to rise to the next step in their career trajectory, whether that’s a raise, a promotion, or actual joy in the job you're already in. Last week, we took a detour from How Women Rise, but today we're back to uncover the next habit that could be quietly holding you back - The Perfection Trap.
Progress.....not Perfection
I’ve always related deeply to this habit because I am, against my better judgment, a recovering perfectionist. That tendency to fixate on every detail, letter, and pixel is still there.
It lives in my desire for the work I put out into the world to be untouchable. And if I’m honest, it comes from something much deeper than wanting to do great work.
Perfectionism is a defense mechanism.
It’s the belief that if I can make everything look perfect - my work, my life, my responses - then nobody can criticize me. If I don’t let anything slip, maybe they won’t notice the things I’m still figuring out, the parts where I feel unsure, or the moments when I don’t have it together. (Oh so many moments I don't have it all together!)
But here’s the irony: the more we strive for perfection, the less connected we become. We think people admire our flawlessness, but they actually can’t relate to it.
Robert Glover has a quote that resonates: "In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual's life energy.
Humans connect with humans. Hiding one's humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting."
And who wants to be vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting? I surely don't. But when we try to lead with a perfect mask, people may respect what we produce, but they can’t deeply trust us because they don’t really know us.
And in the workplace, that matters. People put their necks out for those they feel connected to. Not the ones who seem to have no weaknesses. The ones who’ve shown some realness, some humility, and maybe even a rough edge or two.
So let me be the first to admit - I've messed up so much over the years. I've made mistakes, I've cried at work, I've yelled at my kids, I've been rude when it wasn't deserved, I've overindulged in many unhealthy ways, I've ignored things I needed to face, and I've tried my hardest to not let others see it.
And yet, the times I tried to be "perfect" were my worst moments in all aspects of my life and career. The times I could let my hair down and admit what I was struggling with, I thrived in the end. Because being human allows other humans to come in and help you get out of the jam you are in.
Let’s pause and call out another fact: yes, some jobs require excellence.
But excellence is not the same as perfection. Excellence means doing everything necessary for a complete, quality deliverable. Perfectionism is going above and beyond excellence where diminishing returns and compulsive polishing take over.
Excellence serves the outcome. Perfectionism serves the fear.
Which is why Sally Helgesen’s take from How Women Rise hits so deep: perfection isn’t just hard to sustain - it keeps us playing small. It keeps us safe but not seen. Comfortable, but not connected. And it often keeps us stuck in execution mode instead of stepping into influence.
So what do we do?
We practice letting go of the belief that perfect is the goal. Because it never really was. Progress, not perfection, is how we grow. And in this ever-changing environment, where adaptability and learning are the name of the game, letting go of perfection frees us to do the real work of leading, learning, and showing up fully.
One practical shift: Instead of obsessing over flawless output, ask yourself:
Does this move the work forward?
Does this create connection and trust?
Am I showing up as real instead of just right?
Your competence is not in question. Your capacity to grow, connect, and influence depends more on your presence than your perfection.
This week, I challenge you to release one thing without perfecting it, just to see what happens. (Spoiler alert: it always ends up being ok!)
Maybe it's sharing an idea before it’s ready, delegating something someone else can do 80% as well, or speaking up without overpreparing. Notice how it feels to move forward instead of standing still.
And notice who responds when you let your humanity show.
If these habits are resonating with you…
It's probably because you're growing. If you'd like support as you put progress first and release perfection, coaching could be the bridge. Together, we can explore how these habits are showing up for you and build new practices to help you rise. Schedule a call HERE to explore if it's right for you.
Cheers to progress over perfection,
Sharon
We all need support
You are not alone. The reason these habits resonate is because they are common and difficult to overcome on our own. I help women define what success means to them and achieve it with more joy and less stress. We figure out the habits that are helping you and ones holding you back so we can adjust accordingly. Imagine feeling fulfilled, happy, AND successful? It is totally possible, with the right support.
The first step is to schedule a free 30-minute strategy session to explore where you are and where you want to be. SCHEDULE HERE. It takes 30 seconds to schedule and will help you move forward. Don't delay! I'm offering discounts to those that schedule this call before the end of November.
Life is too short to stay stressed and stuck. Don't let another season slip by. I've helped so many people reclaim their life. I can help you too.
