The Scariest Costume You'll Ever Wear

Before we continue our How Women Rise series..

I’m pausing our How Women Rise series this week to reflect on something that feels especially fitting for Halloween: fear. Not the kind that comes from horror movies or things that go bump in the night, but the quiet kind that keeps us from being fully ourselves. Before we rise, we have to be real.  And that starts with facing the fears that keep us in costume for too long.

Being Real With Yourself

Halloween always remind me of scary horror movies, which creep me out. But the scariest thing to me has nothing to do with witches, ghosts, or masked murderers.  

My biggest fear is to live a half-life - always dressed up as something I'm not.  I don't want to wake up one day and realize my time is up before I was able to fully live into the life I want.  How do I combat that fear?

I have to constantly remind myself to remove my "costume".  The one I used to wear daily - the mask of happiness, the people-pleasing smiles, the conforming style, the polite responses - even when I wanted to scream.

That costume got me a lot of so-called candy!  A career, advancement, a network of people, and what I craved most, RECOGNITION & ACCEPTANCE.  However, at the end of the day, deep down I knew it wasn't fully me.  My costume was on point, but at night when I took it off, I felt unsatisfied.

Fast forward to now, and I don't wear that costume.  Do I still want to grab it in times of discomfort and uncertainty?  Yes.  But I no longer want to wear it all the time because the thing that scares me more than not being liked/accepted by others is not living a fulfilling life.

What scares you?  What masks or costumes are you wearing?  How often?

What fears are you trying to overcome?  What are you hiding when you put on your costume?

WHAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT?

Be real with yourself, name it, and then address it.  With intention, with self-compassion, and with support (whether that is a mentor, coach, therapist, friend, or some combination of all of these).

I was wearing a costume to cover up my insecurity and lack of self-love.  The thought that started keeping me up at night was "Will I ever live my dreams?  Or will I keep living the life society tells me I should and feel unfulfilled?"

After being honest with myself about the contributors to my fears and addressing the issues head on, I was able to realize how unnecessary my costumes were.

They were weighing me down.  They were getting old, too tight, and too childish.  I grew out of them.  But not through the pure passage of time (like the way kids grow up and out of their little costumes), but with INTENTION.

The fear of not living the life I wanted was greater than my fear of not being liked for who I REALLY was.  So I started intentionally building my skills, loving myself, and stepping into my confidence.

Nowadays, I put on costumes for pure fun, not out of necessity.  (And I sure do love a costume party!)  But there aren't any more masks.  What you see is what you get - and sometimes that is happiness, empathy, and understanding.  Other days it is frustration, boundaries, and a break from what others want from me.  And still other days it is a new look that I've grown into as I continue to evolve.

You have the freedom to dress up however you want.  But do it out of intention and empowered choice, not out of fear.  

Be scared of horror movies and things that go bump in the night.  Don't let yourself fall into the real horror of being stuck in a life that you don't enjoy.

Cheers to overcoming your fears,
Sharon

Balancing Fear and Comfort

You don't have to go alone - it is always less scary when we do it TOGETHER.  I help women define what success means to them and achieve it with more joy and less stress.  We get clear on what you want and the fears in the way so you can move forward confidently.  Imagine feeling fulfilled, happy, AND successful?  It is totally possible, with the right support.

The first step is to schedule a free 30-minute strategy session to explore where you are and where you want to be.  SCHEDULE HERE.  It takes 30 seconds to schedule and will help you move forward.  Don't delay!  I'm extending my current discounts to those that schedule this call before November 15th.

Life is too short to stay stressed and stuck. Don't let another season slip by.  I've helped so many people reclaim their life.  I can help you too.