Who's REALLY in Your Corner?
Failing to Enlist Allies from Day One
We’re making our way through our fall series inspired by How Women Rise, exploring the 12 habits that hold high-achieving women back from stepping into their full potential. Each week, we’re tackling one of the twelve habits so we can finish the year stronger, lighter, and more intentional - ready to soar into the new year with clarity and confidence!
Today’s focus: Habit #5 – Failing to Enlist Allies from Day One.
Habit 5: Failing to Enlist Allies from Day One
This one really matters, especially when you’re starting something new.
When you step into a new role or begin a big project, it’s natural to want to prove yourself. You jump straight into the work, eager to be the quick star who delivers results.
But when you skip the relationship-building stage, you limit your impact before it even begins. Helgesen & Goldsmith (the authors of How Women Rise) describe this pattern:
“Women who assume new positions resolve to keep their heads down until they’ve mastered the details … They want to feel fully prepared before they start reaching out.”
Meanwhile, others start by asking: Who do I need to connect with to make this role a success? That small shift from what to who changes everything.
Some real-life examples:
Example 1: The quick star in a new leadership role
A client was promoted to lead a division and spent her first month designing strategy and setting goals. But she skipped one-on-one time with her direct reports and peers. Six months later, she realized her team didn’t feel connected to her vision, and key partners weren’t bought in. She had the right plan, but not the relationships to bring it to life. We identified her key stakeholders and she worked through building trust. It took her months longer than she expected, but she eventually was able to deliver one of her goals.
Example 2: The project that lost traction
A woman in my network led a cross-functional initiative and focused solely on execution. She had brilliant ideas and innovative ways to move forward. But she only looped in others when she needed approvals. By then, stakeholders felt left out and resistant. The project didn’t fail from lack of skill, it stalled from lack of trust. When we spoke about it, she was frustrated at their lack of vision. When I explained that others need to be brought along for the ride, it started to click. Like it or not - others don't always just "get" your vision - you have to help them see it along the way.
So what does “enlisting allies from day one” really mean?
It’s about building connection before you need support (not asking for favors). Which is hard to do when you already feel there aren't enough hours in the day. I get it! No one wants another meeting just to "chat". Yet, these conversations really are the work. Some ideas on how to start:
Invite others into your thinking early: “Here’s what I’m seeing. What’s your take?”
Listen for concerns and show genuine curiosity
Share credit freely and spotlight others’ wins
Stay visible and accessible
Remember: your allies include peers, cross-functional partners, and even those behind the scenes
When you build allies early, you don’t just gain help, you gain trust, visibility, and momentum.
So how can you apply this going forward? Think through where you are and what you want to see move forward. Using one of the prompts below, explore what is possible:
Starting something new? List five people who could be critical partners. Schedule short chats to connect and align early.
Mid-project? Identify one relationship you’ve neglected and reach out. Ask, “How are things going on your end?” "What do you need from me?"
Send a short follow-up note after every key conversation: “Here’s what I heard and what I’ll do next.” Small consistency builds lasting credibility.
I can't stress this enough: Relationships make the world go round. Relationships get you to where you want to go. Faster alone, further together. That's the truth. So if you want to go further in your career and success, enlist allies early and invest in your relationships.
Cheers to finding your allies,
Sharon
PS - Here are the 12 Habits we are walking through (from How Women Rise by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith) - Links to previous newsletters:
1 - Reluctance to Claim Your Achievements
2 - Expecting Others to Spontaneously Notice and Reward Your Contributions
3 - Overvaluing Expertise
4 - Building Rather than Leveraging Relationships
5 - Failing to Enlist Allies from Day One
6 - Putting Your Job Before Your Career
7 - The Perfection Trap
8 - The Disease to Please
9 - Minimizing
10 - Too Much
11 - Ruminating
12 - Letting Your Radar Distract You
You're Not Alone
Let's go further - TOGETHER. I help women define what success means to them and achieve it with more joy and less stress. We figure out the habits that are helping you and ones holding you back so we can adjust accordingly. Imagine feeling fulfilled, happy, AND successful?
The first step is to schedule a free 30-minute strategy session to explore where you are and where you want to be. SCHEDULE HERE. It takes 30 seconds to schedule and will help you move forward. Don't delay! I'm offering discounts to those that schedule this call before October 31st.
Life is too short to stay stressed and stuck. Don't let another season slip by. I've helped so many people reclaim their life. I can help you too.
